Mr Bump

Mummy's little man

Mummy’s little man

I’m really glad it’s friday tomorrow … it has been a busy week and I’m sleepy. Baby boy is learning to boot his mummy in the tummy, and I’ve ordered this superlicious babygrow for the little chap. I struggled to sleep on Monday night after the excitement of the scan; and I had a rather hormonally induced “when did my thighs get so big” day on Tuesday. My thighs have always been the bane of my life, and it seems they are slightly out of my control at the moment. I’m trying to swim three times a week, but I need to let go of the irrational fat fears. Baby boy is the most important thing, and I can go jogging with the pram in the spring.What are thunder thighs when you’re creating a new life …

It makes a real difference now I have confirmation that my instincts were right …. it’s lovely being able to say “he” instead of “it”!

I admit, in the quieter moments, pregnancy does make me rather philosophical; – I find myself strangely tearful at times about how short life is [don’t even mention Lynda Bellingham’s last Loose Women … tissues at dawn] – how this little boy cushioned in my womb will one day be an old man … will have had highs and lows, been hurt, in love etc.etc. and I won’t always be able to prevent the bad things from happening. When I think about the kind of mother I’d like to be, and the kind of childhood I want baby boy to have … I want it to be fun, to be happy – adventurous, exciting … I want to be a hands on, messy Mummy. I want my little boy [my son, how amazing to be able to say that] – to know that he can always count on me for support, love, hugs and endless conversation. I want him to know that it’s okay to disagree with things, that I don’t have a set model I’d like him to conform to; – he will be who he wants to be … and sexuality, politics, career, are immaterial. I’d like to be an honest mother; honest about the important questions [“where do babies come from”] – and as available as I can be. I want to nurture him as an adventurous soul.

Again, some of you seasoned mothers will be giggling or sighing at my naivity … but already the love I feel for this little bundle are beyond my wildest dreams. I don’t think there is such a thing as “getting it right” – we all make mistakes; but from now on the most important thing in my life is my son, and his happiness. I may not be able to protect him from the inevitable pain that life brings, but I want him to look back and say he felt loved … that I did my best. And that, surely, is all we can ever do …

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