Does my bump look big in this?

I admit, the past two weeks have been a little fraught … I realise I’ve been super lucky throughout this pregnancy avoiding the nausea and vomming, have had energy and no scary moments …. BUT, it has been a bit of a busy/stressful time – buying my first home, moving into it, decorating, dealing with an awkward ex whose family concludes I got preggers on purpose, Christmas, parental illness … working full time and getting everything ready for my little chap’s arrival [not to mention the pregnancy hormones flying around]. There have been moments when I’ve woken up in the middle of the night in sheer panic – so many things to do, so little time – and then there’s the matter of pushing baby out. It doesn’t help that bump has blossomed to the point of uncomfortable. Awkward ex is over 6ft … I’m 5ft 2′ … and I think baby boy has inherited his father’s height … because there seems very little space inside me. I love feeling him wriggle around, but I’ll love even more to have him in my arms … 6 weeks to go.

Does my bump look big in this?

Does my bump look big in this?

Yesterday my cousin and I went to a birthing class at the local hospital …. I haven’t quite been able to eradicate the image of a doll being shoved through a plastic pelvis; eye nearly taken out by flexible coccyx. Or the truthful answers about the number of fingers indicating a dilated cervix [I hope the midwife doesn’t have sausage-esque fingers], the amount of maternity pads I’ll need [I was genuinely shocked … red pyjamas all round I think], the expulsion of one’s placenta, and the liklihood that I’ll shit myself at some point during the whole process. Man up, woman …. we’ve been doing this for thousands of years; it’s natural, it’s what my body was designed to do. I am a strong, humorous woman. I can do this. I will put that chin on my chest and push. PUSH I tell you. 

That aside [keep breathing Vee, keep breathing] I am pleased to report that the nursery is now finished; the car seat in the car [turns out I didn’t have Isofix after all ….] I’m one week into training my two maternity cover ladies … and very much looking forward to my baby shower in a couple of weeks. Oh, and I booked a class of Pregnancy Reflexology for this week … which I will report back on in due course …

Pearls of wisdom

Dear Baby Boy,

It’s hard to imagine that one day, you, little baby wriggling in my tummy, will be able to read these words. Pregnancy and impending motherhood has made me reflect so much on my own life and what I want to pass on to you, little boy. I’m sure this list can be infinitely added to, but for now on a cold lunchtime in January …. 20 pearls of wisdom from Momma …

1. This is it. From the moment you arrive into this crazy and wonderful world, you have one life. And it goes pretty quickly. LIVE IT, appreciate it, even the bad times, because nothing stays the same, and beauty can be found in the darkest of moments.

2. You don’t have to understand everything; no one does.

3. Face your fears. I used to be terrified of flying, yet clocked up thousands of miles going backwards and forwards to India and elsewhere. I admit, Gin & Tonic helped, as did the odd Valium – but my desire to travel and see the world was greater than a fear of being trapped in a heavy metal object with a bunch of strangers defying gravity. It’s good to do things which scare you. Be bold.

4. Don’t be squeezed into a pigeon hole because society/stereotype pushes you towards it. Know that as your mother, I want you to be fully who YOU are and who YOU want to be. Whatever that is, is immaterial … just do it to the best of your ability.

5. Be kind. It’s not always easy, there are times people annoy us and drive us mad, and make us become unreasonable and grouchy – but kindness is always the better option. This doesn’t mean you’re a pushover, and I have no qualms about you throwing a punch or two for a good reason …

6. Talk to me; I’m pretty unshockable; and I’ll always have time to listen – no matter what, the old cliché about a problem shared is true …

7. Laugh a lot – there is nothing like a good belly laugh; and there is ALWAYS something to giggle at … happiness is contagious …

8. Keep up to date with the news; the world is a big place, and your boring old mother thinks it’s a good idea to know what’s happening in it. At least buy a Sunday newspaper, or watch the 6 o’clock news.

9. Travel when you can. See as much of this crazy world as possible; meet different people on your travels; enter their worlds and allow them to enter yours.

10. Take risks; they may not always work out, but it’s better to follow your dreams and give it a go …. I believe we regret the things we don’t do more than those we tried at and didn’t succeed.

11. Read books

12. The biggest lesson I’ve learnt in life so far is one of balance and moderation. Have fun learning this lesson yourself; whether it be overindulgence in alcohol, overspending, overeating, undereating, over exercising … etc.etc! Ultimatley, I’ve decided the middle ground sometimes has its benefits.

13. People watching is a wonderful activity, whether it be in coffee shops, public transport, or even at work. People are interesting; watch them.

14. Not everyone will like you. This is okay. I will.

15. Admit your mistakes, humble pie is a cake we all need to eat at some points in life.

16. Giving someone your time and undivided attention is worth much more than money …

17. Be passionate about things which matter to you. Go on protests; don’t be afraid to speak up for what you believe in.

18. No one knows what happens when we die … but make sure you live a life you can be at peace with when the time comes. Make amends, keep friends, accept and forgive yourself as well as others.

19. Wash regularly.

20. Always know that you are loved, and have been from the day the cross appeared on the pregnancy test – however much of a surprise this was!

Momma x

Bumping along

Baby Boy Bump 32 Weeks

Baby Boy Bump 32 Weeks

Where, oh where does the time go? Suddenly, from New Year’s Day onwards I could no longer bask in the security of the words “next year” with regards to the baby! However, I feel like I’ve really turned a corner with the nursery and ticking things off my list of “clobber to buy”! It is reassuring to think that should my little chap decide to make an early appearance, momma is ready for him. I’ve been so lucky with so many generous friends/family passing on clothes and a cot, changing table, steriliser etc; and I’ve found some super bargains in terms of pram, car seat and Isofix base. Seriously, when I first heard the word Isofix I thought I’d stumbled across another language [it does sound a bit like an ISIS stronghold] …. and after a rather traumatic morning in Mothercareworld where it was suggested I change my car due to boot size …. I decided the Quinny was the way to go! It’s red too, and I LOVE red.

The nursery so far! Watch this space!

The nursery so far! Watch this space!

My cousin [aka birthing partner] and I went on our tour of the maternity ward last weekend. Sarah was convinced everyone would think we were the token gay couple. It was actually really reassuring to see where we have to go when the time comes, and it’s pretty close to Costa Coffee, so that’s always a bonus. As you can see from the above photo, my bump continues to “bloom” – and baby boy is measuring nicely on the top line of the graph! We have booked a labour class for a couple of weeks time, and I actually feel really well. I can’t complain about pregnancy at all, and realise I’ve had it pretty good so far – aside from the thighs, MY GOODNESS, my thighs, they are HUGE. I am looking forward to jogging around the park with the Quinny in a couple of months and breastfeeding them back into a size 10! But seriously, if all I have to complain about is my wobbly thunder thighs, then it can’t be too bad! On another tac, my birthing partner now feels much calmer about the whole process, especially after I promised her as much gas and air as she wants!

I did amuse myself yesterday afternoon by googling “what does childbirth feel like” – and reading some hilarious responses on netmums. I’ve now got mental images of s******g a fridge and having a bunsen burner rammed up my ladybits. I’m looking forward to giving you a detailed description of my own experience in due course … but please feel free to comment with comparisons.

I’m so excited now about meeting baby boy. As the days go by his little hands and feet become more apparent as he wriggles around in what must now be quite a confined space. Since returning to work last monday after the festive period [how did 12 days go so quickly!!] I’ve been sleeping much better with my 2am pee break factored in … and really hope I can work until the end of February [last full pay cheque!!] …

You’ll notice that I haven’t mentioned baby’s father at all throughout this blog, as I want to keep this a cheerful place to talk pregnancy and plans of motherhood. No, this baby wasn’t planned [despite accusations otherwise…], and no, we aren’t together. I’m ashamed of neither, and remain horrified at the attitudes of some people, especially those who profess Christianity! My grandmother had a child out of wedlock in 1944, and it amazes me that 71 years later bringing a child into the world without a husband/relationship is frowned upon. I want my baby boy to grow up knowing that it simply doesn’t matter … that he will meet people of all religions, races, sexualities … that none of these factors change their humanity and rights. I have probably said before, that I hope to bring my child up as an accepting, open minded individual; I think the beauty of parenthood is nurturing a spirit which is quite independent from your own …. nurturing a bird who will one day fly away … and resisting the temptation to clip those wings for your own needs ….

It’s a whole new world …