A year of firsts …


Freddie thoroughly enjoyed his Christmas lunch!

I never realised the little markers I would become emotional about during Freddie’s first year. His first Christmas was genuinely wonderful [the best yet], from the crib service on Christmas Eve where I found a lump in my throat and a sleeping baby in my arms during “Away in a Manger” – to his smiling party hat wearing replenished face on Christmas Day – to his excitement at seeing the hunt off on Boxing Day, his joy at all his new toys – and the realisation that 2015 is nearly over – the beautiful most glorious year of them all – the year when Freddie propelled himself from my vagina and rocked my world. 1794638_1855119794714450_4653896460758936638_nIt has been epic, and I can’t wait for the adventures to come … this morning Freddie is with his Daddy, and whilst I had intended to go back to bed and get some much needed, long forgotten SLEEP; I have in fact been a domestic goddess and am only just sitting down with a spot of lunch [which I can eat with both hands woohoo!] and my laptop; awaiting an online grocery order, and the return of my beautiful boy. I’m also busy designing a mural I’m going to paint on his bedroom wall … watch this space!

I dismantled the Christmas tree earlier – which remarkably survived the


Rocking the tweed at the local P2P

crawling babe and his curious hands … as I packed away the decorations neatly into a box, I realised that next year I’ll be looking at the “Freddie’s 1st Christmas” decoration with so many more memories; with no doubt a poignancy that time will still have gone too quickly. Just as this year I’ve thought back to last, when enormous and emotional – I somehow got through it. This time last year I was thinking “in two days time, it will be 2015, and I can finally say my baby will be born this year“. I’m now realising the little cherub will be 10 months old next week, and his 1st birthday looms … how, how, how, is that even possible?

So much has changed in this year; I wonder what on earth I did before becoming a Mummy; where I found my fulfilment without Fred … it has been a year of total overwhelming love, a year of exhaustion and fear, of excitement and courage. It is perhaps the only year of my life I can look back on with pride – with a real sense of achievement – and pride not only in myself, but in my little boy – whose smile and happiness says it all. I still long for the day when he sleeps for longer than 3 hours in a row … but he will sleep eventually … one day … one fine day I shall sleep for 7 hours again …

In the meantime, I endeavour to savour the middle of the night feeding cuddles, and appreciate how lucky I am … to be Freddie’s Mummy …



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