Whenever I sit to Blog, I am overwhelmed by how fast the time is going. Cliched, perhaps, but this year has been the most incredible, and fastest – yet. This Blog is now over a year old, and yet it seems ten minutes ago since I was sitting in my houseshare, nursing a small Freddie bump; wondering how things would work out [note to younger self; things worked out
just better than fine]. Timehop frequently reminds me of that growing bump this time last year. And now .. well, look! So grown up that he can sit in his own seat in the supermarket trolley! Proud Momma moment! There is a certain beauty in the naive months of your first pregnancy, when the “idea” of a baby is often so far from the reality!
Once upon a time I studied archaeology; and it strikes me that my life can now be split into BF [Before Freddie] and AF [After Freddie] eras. People tell you that Motherhood will change you beyond imagination, yet you don’t really appreciate this until you’ve pushed one out and lived it. Cliched, again. I used to take sleep forgranted, and now 4hours in a row is a luxury; I spend my money on nappies and baby clothes; applying nail varnish once Freddie’s asleep is now considered a little treat. It’s amazing how the surge of maternal love brings with it the selflessness, the overwhelming desire to put everything into your little bundle of baby. I love it, and I love him, more than I ever thought possible. He is by far my best achievement, and I still look at him in absolute awe that he grew in my tummy. He’s sleeping beside me now, so cosy and content. My little boy. Always my little boy.
Freddie has a[nother] chest infection this week, which does worry me. This is his third in 6 and a half months. He is such a little trooper and has been taking his antibiotics so well. He has needed lots of momma cuddles, and is hopefully on the mend. Because of this we haven’t had such a busy week as usual. Today we walked to the park and Freddie played on the swings, then on to town where I needed to pick up a few things. Sometimes as I’m walking along, pushing the pram, talking to my boy – in the everyday, in the mundane, I still pinch myself … I’m a Mummy.
Of course, there are also the moments when you’re so tired you’re not sure what you’re name is; when you long for a soak in the bath or some adult company, BUT I wouldn’t swap my life for anything in the world. I’m so proud of this little boy, of his cheeky personality and cheerful disposition. I love the life we’ve created …
I’ll be returning to work at the beginning of December, 16 hours a week; 4 hours over 4 days. In many ways I dread it, but in others – it will be good for both me and Freddie; and 4 hours is do-able. I’ll miss him so much at first, because the longest I’ve been parted from him is an hour and a half. We’re so bonded, me and this beautiful boy … but the loveliness of maternity leave can’t last forever, and momma need to earn some pennies so we can have nice holidays and days out ….
But for now, as usual at the end of a Blog … this momma is going to join her little prince fast asleep …