18 months after the pandemic began, Freddie and I tested positive for Covid-19. At the beginning of the pandemic this was my biggest fear. Since my Dad died I have really struggled with health related anxiety, and have had therapy to try and help this. The summer has been a long one, filled with much uncertainty. In June I was offered a job teaching on Ascension Island in the South Atlantic. I turned it down and almost immediately regretted it. I wasn’t in the best place to make decisions and didn’t feel adequately supported as a single mother to make the move. Thankfully I secured a job at a local mainstream secondary school, although the financial gulf of summer has made it very difficult. We arranged an end of summer visit to the Safari Park with a friend, and this is where we presume Covid caught us.
I started to feel like I was getting a cold on the Bank Holiday Monday, but didn’t have anything to say Covid. I had been doing a lot of cleaning and presumed it was due to dust and cat hair. I even went to work on Thursday for my first day, when I got a text from my friend to say she had tested positive. By this point I was feeling pretty poorly with this “cold”, so took a test. I am now 9 days into my 10 day isolation, although I can’t actually circulate until Tuesday as poor Freddie showed symptoms later than me. His fever was really high, and although they say children don’t suffer from Covid as bad as adults, it really hit Freddie hard. Thankfully aside from a cough, he is now hungry again and bored of being inside. I am still struggling, but think it’s a mental as well as physical battle.
Isolating in a gardenless flat is no fun. Initially I felt too poorly and frustrated at the timing to be bothered by being inside. However as the week has gone on, being “trapped” has been worse than the niggling symptoms. It didn’t help that there was a big industrial fire in Kidderminster on Wednesday so all windows had to be closed. The one benefit of not being able to smell anything was not smelling the acrid smoke outside. The fire really scared Freddie, and being poorly didn’t help.
Isolation brings with it many challenges. I’m lucky that my neighbours are incredibly helpful and have taken my rubbish down to the communal bins, posted things for me and had conversations from the open window. I’ve had friends check in on me and Facetime, which certainly at the beginning really kept me going. It’s scary and lonely being in this situation, and I don’t think I had appreciated the mental toll being isolated took.
I’ve had some great disappointments recently, and it hasn’t left me in the best place emotionally. However, underneath all the worry and illness and frustration at Freddie having missed the start of year 2, and me missing the start of my new job – I know that certain aspects of my life need to change. If people genuinely care for you they will be there – I have spent too much time chasing people who wouldn’t swat a fly for me. As we prepare to go back into the world on Tuesday I know that life has more to offer … and I intend to go after it.